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reclaiming cunt.

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3/6/09 12:54 pm - i want to

blogging is an addiction. i've had a blog ever since the pubescent age of thirteen. i started with xanga, and then worked my way over to livejournal. i've gone through, i believe, three ljs.

i miss reading other people's ljs. i miss creating my posts.
i'm about to turn eighteen. ever since i was a young girl, i dreamed about turning eighteen. it's still means alot to me, but not as mush as i thought it would.

i'm going to purchase in the fall. i'm really excited.
this summer, i want to go to bogota and work in a non profit but i can't find any.

my mind can never make sense. it's one o'clock and i still haven't taken a shower. this is probably the latest that i have ever stayed up in my pajamas. lame.

11/27/08 01:42 am

so new post. it has been a very, very long time.
i plan to revive this lj. i want to write more and i don't give a fuck who reads this or not.

so updates.
new love, nine months.
goodbye high school, hello college.
community organizer for the lower east side girl's club.
finding a balance in my life.
growing into a woman (does that ever end?)
figuring what the fuck to do with the rest of my life.

highCollapse )

3/30/08 09:26 pm

watching superbad for the first time. sober. so good.
i'm over stressing. i'm over panicking. i'm over worrying over pointless things. i just need to take a deep fuckign breathe and chill the fuck out because it's not worth my time.

more laters.

12/25/07 05:56 am - i hate watches

black rebel motorcycle club is so good

12/25/07 05:25 am

i feel better now

12/25/07 12:08 am

christmas blows. "be kinder to those you loved." what does family really mean to me? it's the end of an amazing year... probably one of the best years of my life, hands down. i can't seem to trust my father. or love him. he has an ugly side that likes to come out every so often. is it my fault? am i to blame? i just don't want to put up with it anymore. i don't want to just sit and be silent whenever he is angered. i remember when he used to yell at my mother. i still can hear him, yelling at her, hitting the walls, provoking fear. i don't want to let it side. am i like that? in a year i am out of here. it's crazy how time flies. in a year i'll be out of high school. damn. fucking finally.

i got socks for christmas. i mean, i did tell my parents to not get me anything. i don't think i deserve anything. but when i actually saw all the gifts under the tree, i was hit with nostalgia. i remember when all those gifts were addressed to me. i remember when i used to wait until midnight, anxiously, so i can open up all my gifts. i don't know. so much has changed.

here i am, in a room, by myself. on christmas.
why do i always end by myself?

11/23/07 05:13 pm

oh, and last.fm is amazing. <3.

11/23/07 04:55 pm

i really dislike thanksgiving.
i've realized that i am so not a family person.
but i did open up to my mother, i love her.
strong, independent REAL women are who i look up to.
not fucking nicole richie. or hilary duff.
remember THINspiration? oh my. i was fourteen, and at that time i had a xanga. there was all these ana & mia support groups where girls would post their calorie intakes and post pictures of really, really fucking skinny celebs/models. it was disgusting.

photobucket won't let me post any photos.
i spent wednesday night with my girls. in hells kitchen. at melissa's studio apartment. diggy lives there as well, due to her mother kicking her out. they're looking to move in together, some place bigger. oh man. i would so move the fuck out and live with them but mommy won't let me go. not until i graduate fucking high school. so they're looking for a third roommate.

i need to get intoxicated soon. bye.

11/20/07 08:22 am

i have no first period. and it's cold outside.
i've noticed some weight gainage. which sucks. it makes me sad. WHATEVER. i can be such an insecure little girl sometimes. i just need to chill with the carbs and actually do yoga. I MUST DO YOGA. mustmustmustiwill.
i'm lazy.
thanksgiving is thursday and i don't give a fuck. i don't really feel like eating turkey. i think i'm just going to stay home, and sleep. sleeeping. oh, i miss sleeping. naps are cool too.
i lost my 2007 planner. i can't find it. i have no idea what's going on for the rest of 2007. i'm confused. whatever. i just have to remember that funxgiving is on the 30th and everybody has to come! fiasco and animandible are playing, along with our dj dooga. at a bar in bushwick where your forties won't be confiscated. what more is there to ask?
i have to buy a dress for the codepink benefit on the 28th. i was thinking something short and cute. hipsterrrrrrr. nahchill.
hmph. i just remembered that i ahev to head out to queens on saturday.
there's so many people to see that i haven't seen in so logn and hardly any time. i hate that.

p.s. i love h20.

11/16/07 07:06 pm

i'm interested in forming a Students for a Democratic Society at city-as. i need to reach out to more people. i'm inspired after today's successful protest to keep fighting. we closed down 37th street and the cops escorted us to the recruiting center on time square. i'm going to attend each protest and spread the word to people so they can join me in reclaiming the streets.

i'm ------- tired right now.
time to eaaat.
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